Hell and the End

Hell and the End

 On the 14^th of February, it has been 9 days, and everything has changed so fare,

On the 6^th of February, O Erisir, Call me and said, she doesn't want to help me anymore. She is going to take the statement back, her family will do the same, because, I have lied, she doesn't want to take any responsibility, She even call my brother in USA.  And then stop talking to me. I said to her you made the right decision! I tried to call her lots of time, but, she ignored.

On the 7^th my anti form Swansea called me and said, she has just spoken to Erisir. She will help up until I get the bill, then she will leave me alone.

I know this road will end one day but, don’t know when!

The amount of tears drooped of my eyes, if I don’t cry rest of my life, still will not going to be balance.

Cannot get sleep at night, when leave my bed in the morning, my pillow gets wet.

I have never miss my family, but, this time everything broken. I am missing them a lot. If Erisir could speak to me for little bit, half of my pain could have been reduced. But, she chose not to, why should she…? I am fucking lair….that all she said.
She saw a picture in my album with my cousin which has been taken 2003 sometime....and she got angry...it's 2013 now....!! how funny is that...
she log in to my e-mail and saw a from, which has been filled up, 23 years ago, by uncle who lived in USA, My name, my fathers name, all of the date of births was wrong in there...! she chose to believe that, and not to believe, my birth certificate, SSC, HSC, my university degree,all my certificates...come on, I thought you are cleaver then that...!! 

I have tried to find out tow guarantor, so, I can get bail.

By the 21^st of February things got more twisted. My fried suhel, who previously agreed to be my guarantor, now he doesn't want to be that anymore, he said what if I runway, of take some bank loan and then gone...?
this is the friend, I was about to open the business with. How funny....!!

 I have asked, Erisir, said she doesn't want as well.

On the 23 my lawyer, call me and said, O.Erisir went to the solicitor’s office and collect all her statements and passport copies.

I just looked at the sky, didn't say single word. Nothings to say...

So, I have brought my tickets on 27^th of February, as I can’t stay here anymore.  On the 26^th I have received an e-mail.

Has An	25 Feb ndif]-->
to o.ersr@

Hi Ersr

I am soo sorry to wirte you this last e-mail. You will not hear form me.......!!

Of-course everyone will move on and I will do that much quicker then u can imagine.

I am not like you; Doesn't matter what ? how heard ? what is the cost ? I will never ever leave my friend alone while he/she is in trouble, when I know he/she did hide some truth. I will do everything possible I can.  

Even tho you chose not to help me; but, until today I was trying to help you, lift you up little bit,coz I know the situation. giving you car,test fees, looking for your Job,when I know, I won't get any benefit for it ! Because, I am not like you. up to you what you will do. take it or refused it.

 You think I will come back for you....believe me I will not. I should have been listen, while my well wisher doubt about you, but, I thought you are different... turns out you are not. you are right in one point I don't understand you....!!!

I am really happy, my Allah doesn't want me to take you help. Otherwise ; I have regret rest of my life.

when people make any decision, the result doesn't come out instantly. It takes time. I made a decision 2 years ago, now I am in a mass !

Hope and wish you made the right one. May Allah not make you regret.

wish you good luck.

May Allah make you success in you life! Amen !

o_ersr@	25 Feb (8 days ago]-->
to HasAn

Your pathetic! By writing these stupid emails you think you can trick me init! I think I've dont the best decision for the rest of my life! I do not regret nothing! I never do something which I would regret later! I am very happy with my decision! It's MY decision ok!. Hasan this country doesn't belong to me. I do not want you to come back for me! Just live your life in London or else where but just stay away from me ok me and my family do not want to hear from you. You keep saying you will not come for me it's not like I'm begging for you! I want you to leave me and my family alone. Do you understand! This is my final message to you hasan. Please leave me alone. Done email me don't contact me. I wish you more than what you wish for me! I know your cursing me, I don't mind actually I don't care. Just do what ever you like! You come to this world once live it to the max. I am truly from the bottom of my heart pleased and happy about my decision for not speaking to you and I wish you could understand this. I helped you untill last minute. but you dont seem to feel or see it, its fine though i dont need to hear your thought about that even if i told you, you would only believe what you want to believe. you always belived what you wanted to believe but dont the truth. Goodbye hasan, thanks for everything you did for me and my family, we really do appreciate it. You did a lot for us, I know but I think I did pay it all off. I don't have any regret in my heart at all.

I wish you happiness and success on your path hasan, your a strong person I know you would meet better people. Always be happy.

Bye..

Sent from my iPhone

She said if send one more e-mail, she will go to court......! I am Soooooo scared....!!!

I went to the Airort. My flight was at 16.45. at 15.20 an immigration officer came to me and said, Mr. Hasan ! your are not flying today.

What ? Why..?

You need to go back to the detention center !

No ! I don’t want to go back inside that hell !

I have brought another ticket, for 6^th of March. My birthday is 1^st of March Friday. I have just prayed evening prayer, an officer came to me said, you need to go and see immigration office. It was 3^rd floor.

Hasan ! you are leave now. You have got the admission. Go and pack you stuff in 15minits. Is it my birthday gift...!
Why am getting released ?
Because, we have found some evidence that-you are the victim of organised criminals ..so, you are under considerations, 

I have forgotten, everyone left me, but, my Allah didn't, I have depended on the wrong people. I should have been depending on Allah. This is a big lesson. Now I know who my true friend is?

Strange feeling, as soon as I got the paper for admission...I felt I don’t want to leave now...!

Am I upset...?

No....everyone lives for themselves, why someone going to waste there life for me...!

 I didn't lose anything...because, she never loved me, but she has lost everything, because, I loved her, and still do... she didn't choose me...I did....!!

I don't do trick....I don't know how to do tricks.....

A Journey from Haven to Hell

Bang! Bang!

We are form UKBA open the door. Bang! Bang!

I was half of sleep, quickly open the door for them.

 ‘Everyone please stay in your room’. One officer sought.

It was 7.30am in the morning, 5^th of February. The day everything changed in my life.

 >Hasan ! can you show me your passport?

 >Yes ! this is my passport !

Quickly officer took the passport, and call to the home office, and confirm that my passport visa is problematic ! it was indefinite leave to remain.

My eyes went blank. Can’t see anything;

<>Mr. Hasan ! we well take you to the detention centre. You can take some cloths if you want. Do you know this is fake visa ?

<>         No ! I don’t!

<>         Where did you get that ?

<>     It has been given by ‘Khan Solicitors’

<>         How much you have paid for it ?

<>         Six thousand five hundred?

<>         Have you got any receipt ?

<>        Yes ! I do !

  >        Give me those receipts !

The officer took the reaccepts and some other documents. Let’s go. They took me to the prison van.

My head has gone completely empty. Can’t think of nothings;

I use to drive those roads; now all of them look unknown to me. Why? Don’t know!

The van stop somewhere in Leyton; Now I have a company! He jsut woke up. I looked at him, he seems can’t believe himself what happen!!

I was thinking; all planes I have made; last couple of months, for next week as well as end of the month.

I have booked a hotel for 14^th of February, Isle of White, booked a helicopter for an hour, orderd a ring, I wanted to propose love of my life O.Erisir in the skay, 2000ft up from the land. It will be our first Valentine’s Day! Ersr use to say- ‘don’t make big plane!’ it will not come true. Very funny!!!

End of the month there are four birthday including me. 25^th, 1^st, 3^rd,7^th all birthdays, gifts...

Before thinking more we have arrived at Backet House ! They locked us in room, quite big, two toilets, couple of books, magazines, news papers.

Soon more people arrived, five more, everyone was mute, faces was sad, worried, no one know what will happen?

Strange world, if we think of time, I think time goes very slow, why ? I am not scientist, so...

I have received six call so fare; all form Erisir, she was crying, giving me mental support, asked me not to think of nothing. Erisir said to me, UKBA send her Dad back, but, will not let that happened to me. She was crying alot;

The staffs was polite, helpful, they are only transporter name ‘Tascor’.

I wasn’t scared, jsut sad, because of my plane, those will be unfulfilled desire. Is there any human in this planate? Who doesn’t have any unfulfilled desire while he/she was dying...??

By the evening I have been given couple of papers, IS98,IS98A,IS151A,IS91R,IS86 I am not a law experts so I don’t know what it’s mean ?

The officers said ‘Hasan you have been detain, you cannot go home.

My eyes gone blarry, I can only see what black. I have booked 4 tickts for Erisir family, as those will be there birthday gift. Ha...Ha...strange world.

By the 9.40pm I have arrived at Brook House IRC. It’s near Gatwick Airport. To come to the reception I had to cross 5 doors.

Like the way sky gets change in the evening every day, O. Erisir voice got changed as well. She call me and said – Hasan I have trust issue, you are not telling me every things, So, I don’t trust you as well. And I will not help you if are not telling me everything. She got upset, I think angry as well.

What I could say!!

I have been victim of organised criminal, they my money, and put fake visa on my passport, the runway, seven thousand pound, I didn’t know it’s fake! I suppose to get all my document, but, the solicitor firm has closed down and arrested, When I have found out, it was too late....! too late...

Can I prove it, no; apart from 3 receipts i don’t have any document. Why someone will believe me ?

So many times I wanted to tell her, Canim, I am in big mass, my life is ruin, I have lost my concentration, she was saying it, I don’t love her that much anymore, her mum was saying it, I don’t come to their house.

But, I could not, why, I don’t know! May be she will be upset or maybe she will think, now she have to do me a favour. My relation will look like for a reason. Now I know I was another mistake. Mistake cannot go alone; another mistake needs to go with him.

My love for her was unconditional; I wanted to be like that. If my love is true, then one day 'll come again. If it’s fake then, it won’t.

After crossing 17 doors, I have come to Brook hour B wing. Wow.

Around 1.30am. Room no 109. I don’t like it, 9 is not prime number, 3x3=9. I heat even numbers. I wanted to mark the room so, I have written in the wall

‘’Hasan love O. Erisir’’.

‘’O.Erisir loves Hasan’’.

(to be continue)